Thought About Reading a Fat-Shaming Diet Book, Decided to Love Myself Instead*

*Originally published on my personal blog Turkish Delight

Once upon a time, or rather this morning as I was getting out of the shower and looking/admiring my naked belly in the mirror (we all should be able to look at ourselves in the mirror with love!), I overheard the local newscaster say "The obesity epidemic is at an all time-high and on our show today we have an expert to help us get fit!"....or at least they said something like that.  Honestly the second that I heard "obesity epidemic" I could feel a spasm of eye-rolling starting.  But I took a short break from my mirror-gazing-vanity to walk over to the tv to watch.

They were interviewing this guy about his "new" book (cause 2010 is new apparently) called "Die Fat or Get Tough".  To summarize the 2 minute interview....fat people are fat because they think like fat people and that in order for their life to improve dramatically they have to get 'mentally tough' and think like "fit" people.  The female newscaster tried to ask him about how people's bodies are different, genetics, nature vs. nurture, etc.... but he promptly cut her off with his assertion that fat people think all the same and that if they just had the mental toughness they could be thin....and of course that their life would be full of butterflies and roses instead of a dun....dun....dunn......an early grave.

I had a brief.....BRIEF.....moment where I thought that I should read his book before making any judgements about it or writing a scathing review of it, etc.  Instead I looked up his website....his gimmicky, cliche website.  Because he's deigning to you, reader of his website, by sharing his 'life changing' secrets with you in this book.  He had to take precious time out of his busy, successful motivational- speaking career in order to write this book.  He felt morally called to this task apparently.  He also "gets it" because he once gained 40 pounds when he was traveling for work and had some unhealthy habits.....he went from a 32 waist to a 36 (gasp! horror!).  And then he exercised  and was 'mentally tough about his fitness', lost the weight, and is now your new weight-loss savior.

I would like to note that I read his website while eating a particularly delicious chocolate cake doughnut.  Incidentally, I have some left over if anyone wants to visit me at my office today....

But I digress.

After reviewing his website, I decided that I didn't need to or want to read his book.  He mentioned in the news interview that he had received 'death threats' because of how difficult his message was to hear.  And while I don't condone anyone giving death threats in general or over a fat-shaming diet book....the guy seems like a bit of jerk.

What I would rather do..... is love myself.  I want to see and look at myself with love and possibility.  And yeah....my chunky knees and thighs bug me.  But they are still part of me, part of my legs that allow me to move about this world everyday....they hold me up, support me, and are bendy and soft and seem to be constantly changing.  And ultimately, they are pretty damn awesome.

I would also rather listen and spend my time reading the words of people who don't need to scare and shame people so that they can live a lavish lifestyle.  I want to read the works of people who are human and average and not 'well-off'.  I want to connect with people that I can relate to, and people who can relate to me as a person.....and not some statistic that they think I fit into.

You know what else I would rather do?  Tell you about the strangeness of my clothing choices today.  I decided to put on the one pair of bluejeans that I own....which I haven't worn in a couple of years.  They fit, no problems there....no weird laying on the bed to zip them up or holding your breath for a minute while you try to inch up the zipper.  Wow....are blue jeans restrictive!  I can still bend over and touch my toes and all that....but it is by sheer force of will!  This just adds to the superiority of skirts, dresses and yoga pants....

....and of course....

.....shame-free doughnuts.....

......and a whole lot of self-love!

News! I'm now offering Yoga classes in Salt Lake City!

After what seems like forever, I am now going to offer yoga classes in Salt Lake City!

I'm going to be offering two classes to be specific:

Monday Mornings starting on June 24, 2013- 7:15am-8:15am

Yoga for Advocates is a trauma-informed yoga class designed to meet the self-care needs of those individuals who work with survivors of violence.  This class will offer gentle and restorative yoga postures, as well as focusing on a variety of breathing and meditation techniques.  Start your day and week off right!  This class is open to all that wish to come and is a donation-based class.

Wednesday Evenings starting on June 26- 6:30-7:30pm

Every Body Yoga is a beginning level flow class designed to be accessible to yoga practitioners of all ability levels by its creative use of props and sequencing. This gentle yoga practice offers a body positive space for people of all shapes and sizes and focuses on celebrating and loving the body that you have today.  $10 drop-in rate 

And where will these classes be held?  At a wonderful new studio that has just opened: the Urban Arts Studio 25 East Kensington Ave. (1500 South)

At the moment, I am not taking online registrations, just show up!  But if you have any questions please feel free to contact me via email deborah.ann.dilley@gmail.com or call 801-520-3582.

Always remain a student, no matter how often you are the teacher- in Yoga and in Life

I love teaching....I love teaching yoga, I love teaching about sexual violence, I love being in front of a group pontificating on one thing or another.   
Love. It. 
Love.
Love.
Love!
It is my total natural high.  But sometimes, I get so wrapped up in being a teacher, that I forget how wonderful it is to be a student.

Last night I subbed for another teacher at Infusion.  It was cool...new students to mold to my will....muwahahah!  Unfortunately, I couldn't read them very well....at least the women in the class.  The one lone gentlemen was more forthcoming.  It was his first yoga class ever...and for lack of a better term, seemed like a jock.  At the end of class I asked him how it was, and he told me that it was more intense then he thought it was going to be.  Woot!  Score for the fat girl!  After that class, I decided to stay for the last class of the night, which was Yoga for Sleep.  The class was excellent! And I needed it....one, cause this week has been a bear, and two....I am forgetting how it feels to be a student.  The wonder in doing something new, the sensation of relaxing into Savasana (which I don't take when I teach because someone has to bring everyone out of it), the feeling of awe and excitement with discovery....I was forgetting what it felt like to be that, that eternal student.

Re-discovering the joy of being a student is what makes me a better teacher....it lets me grow.

Today with my private student, I tried to channel that same excitement as I felt in the class the night before.  I pushed her today.  I pushed her harder than I ever have.  I made her go into a modified forearm stand.  She looked at me like I was crazy when I showed her what we were about to do.  Then I assisted her.  The look on her face when she came out of it was breathtaking.  It was pure joy.  I knew that she would want to do it again (because when I first did the pose, I did) and I offered to take a photo of her.  She allowed me....and she doesn't like her photo taken at all.  I'll put up a photo of myself the pose
instead of her however.  This was such a turning point for her and for me.  For her, as she doubts her beauty
and her strength
and her grace. 
For me....because it brought it back to the forefront that I need to teach with the spirit of a student.

So, my advice to you.... 
Always be the student.
Love it.
Honor it.
And let that joy guide you as surely as your intuition does.